Did I mention I got my carpets professionally cleaned last week? Have I also mentioned that the increasingly mischievous Drew has learned to hide when he's doing something he shouldn't be doing?
I was on a business call last Friday when I noticed he was being particularly quiet. I found him in the pantry in a pile of Special K, Fruit Loops and Grape Nuts. Not just one box opened and dumped on the floor, but three!! And he was working on the Honeycombs. You can't really freak out and yell at your kid while you are in the middle of going over someone else's finances so I ushered him harshly out of the pantry and away from the mess which he was trying to eat. I needed to jot down some information and I swear I only turned around for ten seconds. He made it back into the pantry, retrieved the hot cocoa mix and toddled back out to the dining room carpet where he promptly dumped it too. It wouldn't have been so bad, except the dog started to lick up the yummy mess which turned it into liquid and stained my newly cleaned carpet. (Wait, dogs aren't supposed to have chocolate right? Does cocoa mix count?)
Fast forward to Sunday when I was getting ready for church. I thought my husband was keeping an eye on the boy, and he thought Drew was with me. We found him with a tube of my lipstick sitting on my silk duvet cover mashing it through his chubby fingers. He was covered, the duvet cover was covered, and yep, you guessed it, the carpet was covered too. Not to mention that the patches of white fur on the dog are now a pretty shade of dusky wine.
Now it's Tuesday. I'm worried that my baby has bulemic tendencies. He enjoys sticking his fingers down his throat until he gags. Today he went a little too far. Today he actually purged himself of his macaroni and cheese. He was in his crib and I heard it amplified on the baby monitor. He managed to get it all over himself and surprise, the carpet. I got him all washed up and set his new clothes next to him just as he began peeing all over himself and my bathroom mirror. Now, I am an experienced mom, but the last few days have me feeling at best like a fumbling rookie.
Have I also mentioned that Drew added "shit" to his vocabulary? I wonder where he got that.
© 2006 Michelle (nnm)
I got this neat little copyright symbol from this neat gal who got it from this girl who got it from her brother. Thanks to all.
27 comments:
LOL!!!!! Though I'm a few years ahead of you, you make me feel SO normal!!!
We had a baby sitter one night, and she closed herself in our study to watch her favorite show . . . before my little one was asleep!
She got into my bathroom and got every kind of lotion and nail polish and powder and nail polish remover and climbed on my toilet and opened the cabinet above and got out all my tampons and pads and decorated my bathroom and bedroom and the hallway and her room!
When we drove into the garage the baby sitter and my little one were standing in the open doorway . . . the baby sitter had BIG eyes!!!
I waited a LOOOOONG time to call her again . . . then I had a nice little talk with her . . . I figured the silence was enough pain :)
There are many more stories . . . and you'll have more, too . . . make sure you record them ALL for posterity!!! And get pictures, too ... you will need them to prove to your daughter-in-law that he was born that way!!!
btw - mine liked trying to gag themselves, too - I never figured out why they liked that one!
hey nnm, see you got your copyright working! we should all buy my brother a drink, it was he who showed me the code! your story about your son made me smile, i have two nephews, four & eighteen months, love the image of the pile of special k, fruit loops & grape nuts, & the dusky wine dog!
What a hilarious post! I laughed all the way through it, especially at the end...
My little princess (2 yrs old) has a pretty colorful vocabulary herself! :)
You KNOW the baby powder and hand sanitizer story here, so ...
:)
I'm feelin' ya girlfriend...I'm SO feelin ya!
Our sons must've been hangin' out together recently cause Adam has added the SAME word to his vocabulary along with 'stupid'.
Oh my God, that was funny! I loved the 'shit' part at the end. John M. has already said that word a time or two! WHERE do they get it from?! I wonder . .
Oh I think I like not being a mother after that! On the bright side at least he hasn't learned the "F" word yet.
Ame~ I would have freaked out over the babysitter thing.
NMJ~ Yes, thanks for the copyright code. I should have referenced you in my post. I'll correct that.
Nelly~ Why are you always laughing at me? JK :)
Clew~ Baby powder + hand sanitizer = one nice smelling child. And it doesn't stain like lipstick. Hahn!
Chesney~ LOL. Does your boy place the word stupid in front of shit? Now, that would be hilarious.
Renee~ Again, we were posting at the same time. Eerie!
Spinner~ "Yet" is the operative word here.
As your Mom, all I'm going to say is "what goes around, comes around"! LOL
nnm,
now i reeeeeaaally look forward to motherhood. thanks.
My niece likes to poke her finger as far into her eye as possible. That freaks my sister out big time. Weirdo kids. :P
Martie~ Yeah, that's really not helpful. :)
Joy~ Aw, it isn't that bad. Just a string of bad things really close together.
Itchy~ Drew does THAT too! I'm always saying get your finger out of your eyes you little freak!
*giggle* Oh gosh this brings back memories of my son.. LOL!! He also had that same vocabulary word after a few... "accidents." ;)
I've heard that chocoate won't hurt dogs any more than humans, it's a myth, like if you swallow bubble gum it stays in your stomach for 7 years.
My little brother ate a can of Nestle's Quik and broke out in a rash. After that, he was allergic to chocolate and broke out in a rash every time he ate it!
Oh, naive, that *is* a funny story. Thanks for referencing us on the code issue! How did you manage to get it to say "xx people humored me"? That's pretty cool, too...
Frog legs~ Great to see you again.
Mark~ Yeah, I didn't even call the vet. He was fine.
Just Me~ I'd rather have lipstick than blood though.
Anna Mr~ If you go to you blogger template you can change comments to say whatever you want. Email me if you want more specifics.
Ocean, I'm glad I could entertain your family tonight. You know that you totally opened yourself up for your little one to get into something really messy, right?
I'll keep my eye on your blog for the story. ;)
My mouth is open... wide open. Wow.
I had flashbacks to mine as little ones all over again and suddenly I was glad we were WAY PAST THAT!!!!!!!
Oh - the gagging thing? They all do that. Ignore.
As for the cocoa, lipstick and such - you'll think I'm joking, but I'm not... take a photo!!!!!!!! I LOVE looking back on the photos of that stuff. The red lipstick on our white carpet... the potting soil on the pure white living room carpet, about 12 times.... the 2 quarts of red Koolaid... all FUNNY now that we are soooo past that.
:)
Hey NNM, I just remembered the time you were supposed to be taking a nap and you got out of your bed, went to my room, took the lipstick off the dresser and smeared it on the dry-clean only bedspread and ate half the tube. Pretty teeth!! LOL
Meritt~ There's the rub. I was so past that too - my older kids are 17 and 14. I have to remind myself all the time, "just what WAS I thinking" :)
Martie~ I'm surprised that didn't already come up.
So funny! You have me laughing right out loud here, Michelle. I can *so* relate. There is already lipstick on our brand new "linen" colored carpet as well. Cambria also enjoys dumping cereal, chips, or anything else she can find in the pantry onto our floor (and it's always the worst when you're on the phone...it's like they just know it's time to go crazy). I don't know how I would have handled the chocolate mix though, you are a more patient mama than I!!
One more thing, Cammie's into that gagging thing too!! I joke that it's the reason for her low weight...she's also bulemic.
babies do that? really? i thought it was just the funny stuff on TV. guess i won't be having any in the near future.
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My 2 year old nephew is like a bouncing Tigger, more energy than God gave anybody! There must be a big battery in there!
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