I'm just a girl trying to find her own custom groove in this world without bending to the expectations of others.

Friday, September 30, 2005

Fun Little Game for the Weekend

I love Cheryl Richardson. Some of you may know her as a motivational speaker, to me she's an organizational guru. She's all about making time for your life and that's right up my alley.

On one her tapes, she suggests doing a little exercise to prove her theory that thoughts are things. Whatever you think about will enter your life. A self-fulfilling prophecy so to speak. What you have to do is think of an object, close your eyes and picture that object, say the name of the object outloud and then wait to see how long before this object appears in your life.

The first time I tried, I chose a swastika as my object. No, I'm not a Nazi - I didn't think a swastika would be an every day sighting and I was trying to prove the theory wrong. Anyway, I thought of the object in the morning and actually forgot about it for the rest of the day. That night at home, I was flipping through cable channels and saw the movie UB571 was playing. I love Bon Jovi, so I selected that channel to get a glimpse of my Jon Jon. As soon as the image was full on the screen, what I saw instead was the swastika. Imagine my surprise!

My husband's object wasn't so simple. He pictured a horseshoe magnet and it didn't appear for him until 3 weeks later on the cover of Money magazine.

I know the mind is a powerful tool, the depths of which we can't understand, but does the power of suggestion really work in this manner or are we simply noticing these things because we are thinking of them. They would have appeared in our lives either way, right? We, under other circumstances, wouldn't have given these objects a second thought.

I moreso believe that the idea behind this game is to show how thinking affects us. If we think negatively, we notice the negative but if we think positively, we notice the positive things in life.

Try it. Let me know what your object was and how long it took to find.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

In the Know

"Experience is costly, when you sell your youth to buy it."

I was 13 years old when I wrote this quote and my mom flipped out. She was certain that I was taking drugs or that I had engaged in a sexual encounter. But I was merely thinking, not reflecting.

Even at that tender age, I had been through enough to know that I would never be innocent again. The passing of my father after a battle with cancer left me knowing that part of my childhood would not be remembered fondly and that my future would be adversly affected at different times throughout my life.

Think about it. Once you know something, you can never go back to the state of not knowing. The experience and it's after effects cannot be erased from your mind. At least without a really good shrink.

I'm not saying they should be erased, I'm simply commenting on the fact that once you are "in the know" you are never the same person prior to that experience whether it's good or bad.

Here are some things I wish I didn't know:
  • What it feels like to lose a father and grow up watching other girls hate theirs.
  • The raw pain and loss of stillbirth.
  • The fear of watching your young child go through illness and surgery.
  • The guilt of hurting children through the process of divorce.
  • The disappointment of another person's betrayal.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

New Rule

My son was doing a paper tonight for his creative writing class. It was to be about his life philosophy. He chose to write about the Golden Rule ~ Do Unto Others As You Would Have Done To You. Naturally, he was only able to generate a page of his three page report on this topic before he asked for my help.

I had to lie.

I've been reminded over and over again in my life that "The Golden Rule" doesn't necessarily apply to life like salve to a wound. Nor does it work in reverse. At least in this lifetime. Bad things continually happen to good people and good things to bad.

It may sound as if I'm jaded, but I'm not. After helping my son, I've simply decided that I will no longer be door mat to the transient that feed off my generosity. I refuse to be taken advantage of! I refuse to bend over and take one more up the proverbial tail pipe! From now on I will stand up for myself and what is best for me and my own while at the same time observing The Golden Rule!

Who's with me?

Jagged Little Pills

Okay, okay, I didn't think I was going to fall naturally into this blog business, but I must admit that I can't concentrate on anything right now because my brain is otherwise occupied with clumsy ideas for new posts. I must feed my new found addiction for however long it has me.

I know this about myself - if I can't do something, I must. I also know that had I never started this blog, I would probably be more productive in my daily tasks. Such is my world. I need everything neat and organized before I can sit down and do anything creative. If there are phone calls to make or bills to pay, I can't comfortably sit down to concentrate on any thing original. Today is an exception. I find myself with plenty to do, but not wanting to or not able to do any of my tasks. Later, the guilt will settle in when, at the end of the day, I have nothing to show for my alotted time except a couple of inadequate posts. But I shrug that off right now in lieu of something else....what exactly?....I don't know.

I chose the name of my blog because it seemed so fitting to life's experiences. As the name suggests, a jagged little pill is hard to swallow as are so many of the situations life tosses at you. Once down, these experiences tend to make you a better person, just as their metaphorical counterparts make you well. Anyway, I thought it was interesting. :)

So that's how it started. Where it ends up will be an interesting journey, and I find myself pleasantly excited by this new venture.


Blogging has never been my style, but with the inspiration of another blogger friend, I am attempting my first post. It's not even important right now that I get comments, in fact, it's a little intimidating. Until I realize the healing and etheral effects of putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) in an attempt to understand ones own thoughts, I will most likely type about superficial happenings in hopes that I will be inspired enough to create something great.

Until then......